It's the Cheltenham Festival punter's eternal quest: striking it rich, beating the bookie, or - at the very least - breaking even.
It does happen, you know. Although for most of us it'll be just another crash-and-burn-and-cough-up week.
So with the Festival only half-an-hour from kick-off, we've decided to do a test. Just who will come out on top come Friday evening when you put the newspaper tipster (which we'll rotate daily) up against a former bookie (Ivan Yates) as well as a clatter of chancers from the Newstalk office, each with their own ridiculous or cynical approach to choosing winners.
We offer our sorry selection of punters* below, each labelled by their tactics/position, and we'll be tracking their progress daily throughout the Festival here on Newstalk.com to see comes out on top come closing time in four days.
*No reference to Niall nor Ivan.
The Tipster (Niall Cronin, The Herald)
1.30 Douvan (2/1)
2.05 Un De Sceaux (8/11)
2.40 Black Thunder (18/1)
3.20 Faugheen (Evens)
4.00 Annie Power (4/6)
4.40 The Job Is Right (8/1)
5.15 Thomas Crapper (7/1)
The I-like-the-horse's-name-and-that's-good-enough-for-me punter
(Newstalk's Sorcha Heron)
1.30 Sizing John 28/1
2.05 Sail By The Sea (50/1)
2.40 Theatre Guide (16/1)
3.20 Hurricane Fly (10/1)
4.00 Mishchievous Millly (50/1)
4.40 Perfect Candidate (50/1)
5.15 Irish Cavalier (14/1)
The former bookie-turned-broadcaster (Newstalk's Ivan Yates)
1.30 Douvan (2/1)
2.05 Un De Sceaux (8/11)
2.40 PASS
3.20 Faugheen (Evens)
4.00 Annie Power (4/6)
4.40 The Job Is Right (8/1)
5.15 PASS
The shout-at-the-tele-in-office-during-races-like-I'm-ITK favourite-backer
(Newstalk's Shane Hegarty)
1.30 Douvan (2/1)
2.05 Un De Sceaux (8/11)
2.40 Pendra (7/1)
3.20 Faugheen (Evens)
4.00 Annie Power (4/6)
4.40 Very Wood (4/1)
5.15 Thomas Crapper (7/1)
The loyal, Lotto-playing, long-odds merchant (Newstalk's Richie McCormack)
1.30 - Sizing John (28/1)
2.05 - Three Kingdoms (20/1)
2.40 - Dursey Sound (40/1)
3.20 - Vaniteux (25/1)
4.00 - Bitofapuzzle (25/1)
4.40 - Broadway Buffalo (20/1)
The oh-I-like-the-colour-of-those-silks aficionado (Newstalk's Luke Benson)
1.30 Douvan (2/1)
2.05 Josses Hill (12/1)
2.40 Smart Freddie (33/1)
3.20 Artic Fire (18/1)
4.00 Glens Melody (6/1)
4.40 Return Spring (22/1)
5.15 Horizontal Speed (14/1)
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