Irish cyclist Sam Bennett has given testimony as to his agonising Tour de France campaign and the contents are graphic.
You've been warned.
"I was getting it hard on the first day and on day five I thought I was gone. But I kept fighting each day, I kept going" the 24-year-old said in an interview with Sticky Bottle.
“I knew it was something I had to go through for my development so I wanted to push through the pain and I think it was important to get as far into the race as possible.
“I wanted to harden myself and the thought of being a better rider is what kept me going.”
It was the physical toll, rather, that told him it was time to call a halt to the effort.
"Four or five days ago I started urinating blood because I was throwing the bike around so much trying to hang on and I damaged something.
“That was one problem and then Tuesday I got a really bad virus and was in bed with all my clothes on under the quilt in 30 degree heat and I just slept 18 hours.
“I couldn’t even walk down to the dinner table I was so f**ked yesterday. And then I had to go on an antibiotic. That was for the urinating problem.
“I knew yesterday [Tuesday] I was in trouble, all my joints and muscles were so sore."
Although the understandable physical pain he was put through, Bennett also took a blow to his confidence after realising his own limitations.
“I think it knocked the ego out of me. It was great to get so much support from so many people but people who don’t understand cycling don’t look at what happens in other races.
“They see the result where l’m last and that was hard. My ego took a knock but it gives me something to fight for.
“I know a lot of people try to get the lanterne rouge and aim for it. But when you’re in a position where you can’t be anywhere but lanterne rouge; then it’s hard on the ego.
“I wouldn’t mind if I was fifth last overall, but it wasn’t my choice to be last. I was forced to be there and my ego took a knock."
Despite the setback, Bennett knows it's all part and parcel of professional cycling.
"It’s a cruel sport. It’s hard when you put everything into one race and it goes belly-up. It makes you think you should have more than one target.”
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