Kevin Kilbane was voted off Dancing on Ice this evening, in what was surely the most egregious act of national self-immolation from Britain this weekend.
At Off The Ball, we are by no means open to using hyperbole.
In that vein, we say that the judges on Dancing on Ice were presented with a vision of true love, and they couldn't stand the way it made them feel inside.
In a way, we feel for them; in many others, we say that they are everything that is wrong with the world.
Kevin Kilbane leaves Dancing on Ice
Alright, now that we have that out, Kilbane and partner Brianne Delcourt came out this evening and did their routine accompanied by the strains of Meat Loaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That'.
As the world was left to wonder what 'that' actually is, the pair pulled off a routine with more lifts than a skyscraper, more twists and turns than a series of Love Island.
The votes are in from the Ice Panel
Ashley - H and Matt
John - H and Matt
Jayne - H and Matt
Chris (Head Judge) - H and Matt
Which means finishing in 9th place is:-
KEVIN AND BRIANNE#DancingOnIce pic.twitter.com/kT4Fw2m0vv
— Dancing On Ice (@DOIEpic) February 2, 2020
But try and explain that to the so-called 'experts' - anyway, I thought Britain had had enough of them?
This was a week where Kilbane and Brianne celebrated their [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] birthdays respectively.
The pair are on record as saying that if they made it past that point, then they would be pleased with their performance.
He has proven himself so adept with lifts that Kilbane has now been approached by 15 different engineering companies for work post-show.
Not only does he leave with Brianne on his arm, but with his head held high and Michael D on the blower telling him that he's giving him the freedom of Achill.